Academy 10 - Possibilities 18 - Sissy Sexuality

Hi girls! Today we’re going to have some girl talk. If I had a chair, I would be turning it round and sitting on it backwards so you’d know this is a conversation and I’m trying to speak to you as an equal and not as the harsh, demanding taskmistress and teacher you’ve all come to know and fear.

If you’ve been following your training like a good girl, you’ll already have experienced some of this (it’s almost like the course was planned this way 😉) and what you’ve had is a taste of something that will become much more pronounced when you move to the next level.

I always want to be open and clear with you too, when you read things from me that is me. Some people think it’s an act but I really am as sunny and bright and cheerful in “real” life as I am in my Academy letters but you shouldn’t take that to mean that all of this was easy for me.

I struggled with the same thoughts and feelings many of you are dealing with. I knew I wanted to be something I wasn’t, I wanted to live my life instead of the life I was told to live or told I should live. It was a struggle but in the end all it took was to make a choice, commit to it and then just keep taking the next step.

Some of it was simple, some of it was easy but some of it wasn’t and some of it scared me more than I’d like to admit, but I kept placing one foot in front of the other and taking the next step, just pushing myself out of my comfort zone a little at a time.

I’m still not “there” yet, I always want to be learning and trying new things and I’ll always be a work in progress but when I think about where I was and where I am all I can do is smile because I’ve come so far and I’m much more myself.

So remember, when the going gets tough someone (in fact many someones!) just like you has been this way before and they got through it and if they can, so can you!

A sissy dating

As a sissy and a submissive the hardest thing I had to grasp and come to terms with when I started putting myself out there was simply this. I was in control because I was the commodity. The number of guys out there who want to have sex is pretty high (spoilers!) but the number of sissies out there looking to hook up is much lower.

You should have got a taste of this when you’ve been chatting with guys online. Posting that you’re a sissy looking for fun and maybe a little photo is usually enough to set off a feeding frenzy and if you time it right, you might end up thinking you’re a bucket of chum and it’s shark week. Guys go crazy for sissies.

Sissy Allure

So just what is it about sissies that appeals so much? I have some thoughts and first up I don’t think it’s going out on too much of a limb to suggest that there’s a taboo aspect to it. As we’ve talked about earlier in the course, society at large has something of a problem with males who consciously choose to exude femininity or act and respond in a feminine manner.

Someone who transgresses social boundaries like this will always be viewed as a “bad girl” and people will want you because of it and as a sissy you are a powerful and potent sexual fantasy for many, many guys.

A sissy who is making themselves available like this is making a strong statement about themselves. You have taken control of and responsibility for your sexuality and shown that you are willing and capable of exploring it. Most people will never make the decision or look inside themselves to any great degree because it’s a harder path to do so then it is to not bother and go along with everyone else.

Finally, guys love having sex with experienced women. Women will be slut shamed (or at least people will try to shame them, it’s heartening to see some women start to take back their own sexuality and reclaim it as a source of pride) but it doesn’t stop them having sex. Men will want practised, experienced partners and if you’re a sissy then you’re showing that this is something you’ve worked at and have made an effort to be more appealing to prospective partners.

Attention

I’d love to tell you that I’m a stunning natural beauty and I can roll out of bed with no makeup on and I turn heads but the truth is before I started making an effort as a sissy I never really received compliments on my look or appearance. So once I started posting photos of myself and people started hammering down my door to talk to me and tell me how hot I was it set my head spinning. And yes, I know boys will say pretty much anything to get what they want but in this case they want me so if I protest a little and play coy, it’s only to make them double down and say more nice things about me (consider that a tip girls 😉).

My first adjustment was going from pretty much nothing to being the focus of attention, and usually considerable amounts of it. To begin with it was pretty overwhelming, it wasn’t something I’d ever considered because why would anyone ever think I was pretty?

Luckily, this was one of the times where the easy route was the best one, I chose to believe what everyone was telling me and I let the compliments go to my head and do some work there. I can still look at some hot young thing and think “gawd, if I had that body…” but I’m at a place where I know my value and can agree that yeah, I am pretty hot (and mean it)! 😎

So follow my example girls, if someone pays you a compliment and you immediately think “that’s not true” then it’s an area you need to work on. It can be hard, at the start you’ll be tempted to fight back against people trying to tell you how pretty you are (because, how dare they!) but in this case why don’t you just give in and accept it?

The next level

Once I started dating the problem reared its head again but in a slightly different way. Like most sissies, I’m submissive. I want someone to take charge and tell me what to do but now I was in a position where I had to make decisions and have some potentially awkward conversations. I wasn’t asking someone if they would have sex with me, I was dangling myself on the end of a line and waiting to see who bit.

At the start, some of my old self talk would float back into my head, would it really work? Would anyone want me? But I’d been told often enough that yes they would that it had permeated into my head and I’d gotten enough confidence in myself that I was prepared to give it a try and if nothing happened straightaway, then patience would be the order of the day. Putting myself out there was a big step but because I’d been chatting with guys online it was a lot smaller and easier than I’d thought it would be.

When I started to get bites (not literally, that would follow later 😉) and it suddenly became real in my head, that was a much bigger deal. I knew what I wanted but seeing it come that much nearer in one big step and having confirmation that I could have it took some getting used to but I knew that all I had to do was take the next step.

Again, it’s a headtrip to go from a situation where you’re rarely if ever propositioned and you’re expected to make the effort and chase to having people see your picture and contact you (and trust me girls, if I can attract people you will be able to too!).

To begin with I hated saying no or talking about what I did and didn’t want to do (especially in person, there’s a reason why guys will try and pressure you more when you’re with them and in the middle of things) but I learnt that the old saying about how the sub is the one who leads things has truth to it.

Some of it is non-verbal and you will pick it up as you go, acting a certain way will make him act or respond in a certain way (think about how vocal women are when they’re having sex to let their partner know what works and what doesn’t). You don’t always have to spell everything out but you have to be prepared to do so. The last letter talked about your limits and asked you to think about which ones are hard (i.e. completely unbreakable) and which are soft (i.e. there is some give there depending on what happens and who you’re with) and once you know yourself you’ll find it easier to communicate them.

Once I realised I didn’t have to spread my legs or open my mouth for every guy and I found out it’s better to be true to what you want and get comfortable with some awkwardness, I was in a much better place. It’s like Miss Frida discussed way back in Module 1, your submission is a gift and has value in and of itself, if you give it away or treat it like it’s worthless then you do yourself a disservice and others will pick up on what you’re doing and treat it accordingly.

I want all the things you read about submissives craving online. I want to be tied up, spanked, taken roughly and so much more (not that I have a checklist but if I did, I would have ticked a number of them off already) but I don’t just want anyone to spank me (even if I’ve been a really bad girl) I want someone who has earned the right to be the person who get to do that to me.

Once I came to terms with the situation as it is instead of how I expected it to be, I started to understand that I didn’t have to settle unless I wanted to. Once I saw that I could get what I wanted it became easier to work at it and the work became much more enjoyable.

A happy ending

We keep saying it, there is so much fun out there waiting for you and all you need to do is get over yourself, step up and experience it. The fact that the road may have a few bumps in it shouldn’t stop you from travelling down it.

I’m always so positive on the sissy experience and the Academy because it’s been so rewarding to me. When I think about what I was like or my fumbling, pre-Academy attempts at more conventional dating it makes me giggle because of how far I’ve come and how silly I was.

I’ve had good experiences and I’ve had bad experiences because when other people are involved, from time to time even with the best of intentions and efforts things just won’t work out as you want them to but I kept going because the good massively outnumber the bad and my life is simply so much better than it was.

If you’re sitting there thinking, I wish *I* could be like that then what are you waiting for? You can be! I’m not the fated one foretold by destiny, I’m not blessed with “good genes” (whatever they are) and I’m not especially attractive or gifted. I just made a decision and decided to commit and see it through one step at a time and looking back, I could argue that it was the easiest thing in the world!