Academy 10 - Possibilities 15 - _Passing_
Good morning girls
We’re here today to talk about “passing”. This is something that a lot of sissies have a lot of anxiety about, they want to go out dressed and en femme but they worry that everyone will see through them and usually, they swiftly progress to more and more lurid fantasies about what would happen next and before you know it, they’re on all fours breathing into a paper bag imagining the world will end if they set foot outside their house.
We’re going to be moving on to focusing on dating soon so this is a good time to discuss the topic, talk about what passing is and see just how important it is.
To pass
At its simplest level passing is where people accept you as you present yourself. For sissies, this usually means if you’re dressed and acting as a woman, then people look at you as a woman.
Let’s reverse this and ask a question, a lot of sissies will say they’re not a real man but do you ever walk down the street in your boring boy clothes and worry that people will see through your “disguise” and know you’re not a man?
I hope most of you see what I’m getting at here, so what’s the difference? Like a lot of things, the hardest fight takes place in your head and at least half the battle is believing it yourself. A sissy will say they’re not a man but they’ve spent so long pretending and acting like it and listening to society tell them otherwise that they can pull off an impersonation so good others believe it so if you can do it one way, why not the other?
Effort
The other half of the battle comes down to effort. When you make the effort and work at it, it’s easier to buy into it and believe it yourself and when you do, others will pick up on your self belief. Like I just said, you’ve spent so long “pretending” to be a man that your impersonation is pretty flawless and I bet sometimes even you forget that it’s an impersonation and buy into it.
The hardest person to convince (and also the most important one) is yourself. If you don’t believe it, others will struggle to. Luckily if you’ve reached this point in the course, you should have spent plenty of time and effort working on this with your posture and body language, on your makeup and on your clothes and hair.
A lot of sissies don’t do this and make very little effort, they then tell themselves it’s impossible or it’s not for them (one very easy pointer that is surprisingly common, facial hair is a big giveaway!) but the problem isn’t that it’s impossible, it's that it’s all too possible and they’re scared to try and succeed.
This is why it’s always a good idea to take pictures all the way through your training, you might sit there and think you’ve barely changed but if you have photographic proof it’s much harder to be negative and deny what you’re looking at.
It’s easy to be too critical but this can be turned to your advantage too. If you see somebody who in your opinion “doesn’t pass” then ask yourself what doesn’t work (and remember to keep your opinions to yourself) and think about how it can apply to you, how you can adjust things and what areas you can work on to improve this.
You can and should video yourself as well and do the same thing, cast a critical eye over the video but remember to be careful and keep it factual. Don’t veer off into a pity party and remember any points you raise should always be things you can work on.
“I’m not very girly” is meaningless and useless whereas “I can’t walk very naturally in 4” heels” is much better.
Once you have some areas you know you need to work on, you can start doing so and tracking your improvement. If you can’t walk in heels, a video showing you stumbling along in them will be replaced by one where you’re moving slowly but much better and finally you’re sashaying down your hallway and turning about like you're on a catwalk and that’s another item to tick off your list.
Meeting you halfway
As I mentioned, we’ll be getting to dating soon and this is somewhere that passing becomes a lot easier. If you’re hooking up with someone as a sissy, they already see you as feminine and will treat you as such. This will make them much more forgiving of any faux-pas you might make because they actively want to buy in to what you’re trying to create.
The big secret
We’ve talked about the physical and the mental side of passing and hopefully, you can see how they are linked and how each feeds off the other one. The final part is dealing with other people and like a lot of things that sound scary, the imaginary version is much worse than the reality of it.
We have discussed this before but it’s worth repeating here. Most people are so caught up in their own lives and inner dialogue that the outside world is little more than a blur. No one is checking everyone they see and judging them and most of the time.
When you’re dating as a sissy, anyone you’re talking to will be actively meeting you halfway but outside almost everybody won’t won’t even “meet” you. Their eyes will brush over you and if nothing attention-grabbing stands out they won’t give you a second thought and will go back to their own inner monologue, you won’t even register with them.
This means your body language needs to be treated as importantly as your appearance. If you’re slouching in on yourself, walking like you’re ashamed and hiding something, people will pick up on it and it will draw more of their attention as they try to assess if what you’re hiding is something that might impact on them.
Incongruous
To begin with, not drawing attention is your goal. When you get more comfortable with things (or even if you put yourself in a situation where it’s much more acceptable) you can start to work on drawing attention, but when you’re getting started, use people’s almost complete inattention to the world around them to your advantage.
Dressing like a whore will attract attention like a whore. Think about your outfit completely from top to bottom. You can even spend time sitting and watching women on the street. How do they dress, what grabs your attention and what just seems to blend in.
You can also watch the men who are walking by or sitting and people watching, what draws their attention and what doesn’t?
Make sure you pay close attention to people who are around your age. If you’re not in your twenties, dressing like someone who is will draw a lot of attention.
Once you have an idea, you can work on your outfit and make it work for you. Accessories can do wonders and another important factor to consider is your hair. If your own hair isn’t quite up to it yet, then a wig is called for and can do wonders.
Dress rehearsal
When you think you’ve found a look that works for you then it’s time to have a dress rehearsal. Make yourself up, put your outfit on and spend some time looking at yourself in a full length mirror or by taking a lot of pictures of yourself from various angles.
Look away and then turn and let your eyes wash over your reflection, does something catch your eye or draw your attention? This is a trick that women use when they want to show a muted, professional side to themselves or just don’t feel like attracting attention. If something catches your eye, the odds are that anyone else looking at you will have their eyes caught by it too and once someone’s attention is drawn that will usually be enough for more of it to follow.
Record a video of yourself in motion and end it by throwing out a few poses. Watch it back and use your critical eye to see how you look when you’re moving. Anything that needs work? Or when you’re holding your poses, does it look natural?
Goals
Next time we’re going to move on to getting you outside but to begin with, we’ll be minimising the chances of you coming into contact with others.
However, minimising doesn’t mean reducing to zero. No matter what, if you’re going outside while dressed you need to be prepared for other people to be there so start thinking now about what you’re going to wear and what areas you need to work on.
Having the goal of going out should be a wonderful way to focus your mind on the practical issues this involves so get started!
