Academy 8 - Dollification 12 - What do I want
Hi there!
Hopefully, your list of names is coming along swimmingly, they won’t be needed until the next letter so don’t worry if you haven’t finished them off yet you’ve still got time.
Today, we’re going to focus on one question:
What do you want?
The first step to getting something is to figure out what it is! This is especially true in areas like sissification where it’s a very broad field and everyone has at least a slightly different view of things.
We’ve talked about this a little before, but Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can be a useful jumping off point for thinking about this.
Your basic needs (food, safety etc) have to be sufficiently fulfilled before you can consider your higher ones and the ultimate goal is to allow yourself to achieve your full potential.
If you are having trouble with your basic needs then they need to be the main focus for you otherwise your work on the higher needs will be much less effective than it should be. Working on your basic needs will also help you with some of the higher ones, so it’s not just drudgery to make sure you’re well-fed and rested with no other reward!
In your “The Real Me” folder, make a document called “Who I am and what I want”, this is going to be the start of a dating profile but it also serves a much wider purpose. It’s much easier to work towards something if you have it written down in black and white (or pink and white, I know what you like!).
It will also serve as motivation, if you have a long-term goal and have it broken into many short-term goals to help you get there, then looking at your document to see your accomplishments will push you to keep going and carry on your success.
The obvious way to start something like this is to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and imagine what a perfect life would be for you. Loosen your imagination a little and don’t be too constrained by making it realistic (although if you start writing that you’re going to become God-Empress of Jupiter, err a little more on the realism side 😉).
There aren’t any wrong answers with this as long as you’re honest. You’re not going to be marked or judged on this, it’s for you to help you plan and grow.
Keep in mind that you today is different from the you of 5 years ago and the you of 5 years from now. In the future, if you find that your thoughts or feelings have changed then it’s ok to write another one of these or decide that you need to change things. Sticking with something you wanted 5 years ago but don’t anymore is as bad as doing something you don’t want to do because somebody told you that you should. The ideas of who you are and what you want should be as alive and breathing as you yourself are.
This should be a very freeform document, once you get started you might want to explore mind maps or other visualisation tools to help you really work through it but to begin with just keep it simple.
Something that can be much more effective than you might think is to have a physical diary. Appearance is important (obviously it should be suitable for you), pretty things will bring you pleasure and you’ll be considerably more likely to use them if looking at them and handling them makes you feel happy. Buy a nice pen too that you only use for writing in your diary and then use it to record thoughts and feelings and write down dreams and goals you have.
Typing something and making it real, in the sense that it’s recorded, will have an effect on you but the action of spending the time to physically write something down will let your brain slow down and work a little harder and make it seem more plausible.
If you’re a little stuck or just want some inspiration, you can also look into any number of online surveys and personality tests to help you but remember that the results shouldn’t be taken as being the Gospel truth, they should be treated as aides to spur you on and give you points to think about.
To finish with, I’m going to give you a bullet pointed list of things you should cover in your document. These should be considered the minimum you should do and more is always better! Details matter too, so don’t just cover the what, cover the why as well. You want to live next to a lake, wonderful! Why do you want to live next to a lake?
Who I am and what I want
List 10 strengths
List 10 weaknesses
What needs to be true for you to be happy with the place you live in, regardless of what place it is or where it’s located?
What needs to be true about your partner or partners for you to be happy in a long-term relationship, regardless of who they are?
What needs to be true about your work for you to be happy, regardless of the money you would make?
Do you feel there is a higher meaning to your life and if so, what is it?
What do you like to eat?
Would you prefer to live in a forest, a city, by a lake or on a mountaintop?
Regardless of who you have sex with, how often would you prefer to have sex with someone else? How often with yourself?
How much do you value affection, do you value physical and emotional affection differently? Which do you prefer?
Is there one material thing in life that you could not live without, what would it be?
Now get to work, you won’t need this until the next module so there’s no need to rush. Be careful about editing it as well, it’s easy to cut more than you mean to because you feel something isn’t achievable or, when you read it again, you decide it’s just plain silly (this is another benefit of writing over typing).
In the next letter we’ll be working on your name list some more, so don’t forget to finish it in time!
