Academy 6 - Desire 5 - The sissy ego
Hi girl, how are you? Today, you’re going to continue your journey to embrace your sissy side.
Ego
Your ego is your sense of self. When you say I, it’s almost always your ego that you’re referring to.
So why are we discussing this? Because your ego, its interaction with other egos and your environment is what causes you problems and makes you feel ashamed.
Ego Destruction
To be clear and upfront, this is not what the Academy is trying to do! But in your day-to-day life as a sissy, no ego would be a large drawback and may leave you unable to function.
Even those of you looking for a dominant partner who thinks that being a mindless, obedient drone would be a selling point is wrong. Dominants want to break you and bend you to their will, having you meekly do whatever they say and not feeling ashamed or embarrassed (this kind of erotic shame is different from what we want to help you overcome) is a waste of their talents and they will soon lose interest.
Ego Taming
What I want to help you do is tame your ego and smooth away the rougher, more masculine edges.
This is something even well-adjusted sissies can struggle with. When Becca started working for me she had a habit of having to have the last word in any conversation, she would offer help or ‘better’ ways of doing things without being asked and frequently assume that she was always correct.
I knew how this would play out, so I didn’t say anything. After a couple of weeks, she was working with Head Mistress Alyssa and unwisely decided to back talk to her. The temperature immediately dropped 20 degrees and to Becca’s credit, she realised she’d made a huge mistake and looked stricken.
Alyssa, with a face like thunder, left her in no doubt that this was something she should never do again, that she should remember her place and carry herself accordingly and that her continued employment relied on the beneficence of her betters.
Alyssa demanded an apology and then left and I was quietly proud to see that Becca wasn’t ashamed to cry in front of me.
Since then, her behaviour has been a lot better. She still slips from time to time, everyone does, but when she does a sharply spoken, ‘Becca, your ego is showing’ is sufficient to get her back on track.
Remember that as a sissy you should try and be kind and gentle as much as you can and this applies to yourself. When you slip, accept it and try better next time. If you fall down twice but stand up three times, you’ll win!
How to
This can be considered your homework but really, It’s a set of behaviours that you should try and incorporate into your day-to-day life.
Don’t forget, we don’t want to destroy your ego, just tame it. Think of it as a small dog, constantly barking whenever anyone walks past. You don’t want to muzzle the dog, but if you can teach it a little control it will learn that it can get a lot more positive attention with a sweeter nature and the behaviour will be self-reinforcing.
Handling Conflict
If something makes you angry (and this applies especially to things on the Internet!) don’t reply straight away. Take a deep breath and count to 10. If you still want to reply, avoid insults and engage with the points that upset you. Always try and keep in mind that the other person has thoughts and opinions that are equally as valid as yours, try and understand their point of view and remember that it’s ok to disagree. You’re not always going to be right and you need to accept it
Feminine Ally
Make space for women. As a sissy many people will treat you as a man, but never forget that you should always be an ally to the feminine. Let a woman speak first or ask her to do so. Don’t talk over her or interrupt to correct her on minor points. Never dismiss her opinions on the basis of anything other than their content. Not all women will react as Alyssa did to Becca, a lot of women are used to being ignored, discounted and dismissed and you need to be part of changing this.
Problem-Solving
Use more traditionally feminine techniques to solve problems. Conversation and negotiation are much better tools to solve almost every problem facing the world today than brute strength and violence. Make sure you’re using these tools to solve the problem, not as something you’re just going to ignore, fall back on your old habits and do what you think is best regardless of anyone else.
Compromise
This follows on from problem-solving, you should try and make as many people happy with the outcome as possible (and this includes you). If you’re having trouble with it, think about how you would feel if you were on the other end of what you’re agreeing to.
As a sissy, one of the ways you can get pleasure is from helping others, so if everyone is happy at the end then you will be too!
Ask for help
If you need help, ask for it. This doesn’t make you weak or a failure and if it feels like it does, you should make a point of asking for help over everything for the next week whether you think you need it or not.
Women draw tremendous strength from each other and sissies can do likewise (this is why we have a community around the Academy!).
Show vulnerability
This leads to asking for help. No matter what you think, no one expects you to be perfect or to know everything (except maybe yourself). ‘I don’t know’ can be a very powerful expression.
Showing vulnerability to men is different than showing it to a woman. Men are usually brought up to believe that they should only show vulnerability to their mother and, when they are older, their partner. Men are rarely comfortable showing vulnerability to another man and are equally uncomfortable when a man expresses vulnerability in front of them (think about how you would feel if you see a girl crying in public, then how you would feel if it was a man).
To begin practising, try to say ’I don’t know’ when you’re asked a question that you don’t know the answer to, don’t guess!
Sissy Strong
A sissy can be physically strong but this isn’t their true strength. A sissy should be in touch with their emotional self. Being a sissy isn’t an easy path. You’re going directly against what society has decreed men should be and, especially if it’s something you’ve suppressed for a number of years growing as a sissy can bring up some things that you’d prefer not to deal with.
However, accepting you’re a sissy means you’ve decided to live as your authentic self and not listen to others telling you who you are. Once you begin to explore and grow as a sissy you may find parts of yourself that you thought were stable and fundamental and start to shift or discover parts of yourself you never knew existed.
You may find your emotions grow stronger and become more prevalent and it can be very tempting to deal with this in a masculine manner and deny, ignore and then suppress them, but this is the wrong way and, at best, only a temporary fix.
Growth can be painful, but the growth and the pain are both signs that you’re alive. Dead things don’t grow or feel pain. So feel your emotions, let them run their course and then watch them subside.
Once you are comfortable doing this, you’re well on your way to embracing your femininity. You will be living much more wholeheartedly and you will wonder what all the fuss was about.
As you do these, you will feel a sting here and there. That’s your pride. It’s the part of your ego that doesn’t like to admit that you don’t know everything and would like help. It may view compromise and negotiation as weak when you can simply take what you want. Feeling this is a positive thing, the sting will lessen over time and that’s a sign that your ego is becoming tamed and every time show vulnerability or allow yourself to feel your emotions and the world doesn’t come to an end, it will become tamer and tamer.
